25.

There is a post I have been writing for the last several days, weeks if I am completely honest. I have been writing and re-writing it, to keep from having to post it. I am working on trying to stop the over reaction and rage that comes over me from time to time, and much like losing weight I am using the blog to figure things out with that. However, my weight gain was something that I couldn't really hide from the people around me so it wasn't so hard to write about what was always on display. The anger and frustration are completely different. People probably get hints of the how I am, but the depth to which it goes isn't something I spread around because it's something I am ashamed of. I will be writing it anyway, and now that I was able to write this I have no choice, I will post it. Not tonight, but soon. The more I write on the frustration the more I realize all the big character flaws I have feed into each other, each a building block of my overall failings. So every-time I remove one, I find another right below it. The anger thing is getting better, but everytime I get a handle on it, it seems like some interaction or something that comes out of my mouth lets me know just how little progress I've made.

My habits and flaws didn't take a day to form, they wont be gone in a day either, but I am not going to let it take me years, I am going to go after this with intensity, I am going to take apart everything that will be a bad example to my daughter and change as much of it as I can.