There is something that was brought to my attention inadvertently by my loving wife. When I started this blog is was very much intended to be a spot for what the header says its for, to more or less unload some of the things that are banging around my brain. Lately that almost exclusively revolves around my current adventure to enduring real and lasting change in my overall food intact and energy expenditures in order to stay healthy for years to come. However there is some things that are conspicuous by their absence. I have talked in limited ways on the depression I have suffered, but have never real got into the source. I have also never got into the downward spiral that has had a lasting impact on my life that is my struggles with religion and my personal relationship with God. Finally I touch on stress frequently but I don’t believe I have gone into this enough.
What I find so interesting about these things being so very absent from the blog is that they are so tied together in my life and will always either act as the fuel I need to bring me through the toughest situations, or the weight around my neck that drags me down a hole I dug.
I am not sure how to get into any of these topics individually or in fact how to explain how intimately they all tie together. I think there is a real good chance that I as I get into this I am going to spiral into some pretty wide ranging topics, frequently get off point, and likely confuse anyone reading it more than anything else, but I also think I really need to get some of this spelled out in a way that lets me really understand my own brain a little better. The entire time I have been making changes to live a healthier and better life I have been telling myself what I need to make the changes stick is honesty, I can absolutely not lie to myself. So it freaked me out when I realized that not only had I never written about this (do know that there are certain things that have happened to me I would never put in a public forum) but I had never really considered the impactions just for myself.
I am now talking in circles. The next however many posts it takes I am going to be trying to work my way through this mess, I have no idea whats going to fall out of my head, but I am hoping to get a better grasp on what makes me tick. If you happen to get some sort of insight into my psyche that I seem to be overlooking feel free to let me know.
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